Greetings
The most common greeting in the Gulf is Salam alaykum (‘Peace be upon you’), to which the correct reply is Wa alaykum as-salam (‘And upon you be peace’). Note that tisbah ala-khayr, meaning ‘good night’, is said on parting, as in English, and the reply is wa inta min ahlu. You should always shake hands when greeting and parting from Arab men. In the case of Arab women, you should be guided by the woman’s behaviour: many Arab women won’t shake hands with non-Arab men, although educated women might. This is normal even with close friends whom you meet frequently. If the handshake you receive when leaving somebody is longer than the one you received when meeting him, it indicates that you’ve made a good impression. Incidentally, newcomers should note that refusals or protracted reluctance to meet people are frowned upon. Note also that you shouldn’t approach Arab women, look at them or talk to them unless you’ve been properly introduced.
After handshaking, it’s customary to enquire after the other person’s health and other matters, and you should expect similar enquiries to be directed at you. (Don’t enquire after the health of the female members of an Arab’s family, however, but restrict your questions to those regarding the family in general or the sons.) This can take a long time, as neither party wishes to be the one to draw matters to a close. Foreigners aren’t expected to know or use all the subtleties this ritual involves, but you will make a good impression if you learn at least some of the standard expressions and use them in the correct way. Whether in face-to-face conversation or speaking to people on the telephone, don’t talk business straight away; if you do so, Arabs will assume that you’re impatient or not interested in them personally.
Hands & Feet
You should accept refreshment whenever it’s offered, but note that you should always use your right hand for drinking and eating, as the left hand is regarded as unclean (as it’s used for ‘toilet purposes’). Similarly, you should avoid showing the soles of your shoes or feet, which implies that you think the other person is ‘dirt’, which is obviously highly offensive. You should therefore keep your feet flat on the ground and not cross your legs.
Invitations
If you’re invited to the home of an Arab, you should always accept. You should generally take every opportunity to become acquainted with local people and avoid the natural tendency to stay within the social and physical confines of your foreign ‘ghetto’. Your Arab host will be interested in you and your views. However, you should avoid politics and religion as subjects for discussion; your opinions might be regarded as ill-informed or even offensive, even if they seem acceptable to you from a western perspective.
When you enter the majlis, the reception room for visitors, you should always remove your footwear, unless the host indicates otherwise (you should therefore ensure that there are no holes in your socks!). If you’re with a female companion, she will be whisked off to join the women. You will almost certainly be offered something to drink and perhaps eat; accept the offer. Arabs are almost always polite and expect the same from those they meet, and believe that sharing a meal with a person positively affects the relationship.
The standard greeting is Ahlan wa sahlan – which means welcome - and this will become familiar to all who visit Qatar. It’s certainly worth learning enough Arabic to communicate the pleasantries, greetings and responses of the country you’re living in. You will enjoy people’s reaction and your hosts invariably offer encouragement to those who attempt to speak their language. It’s important to note, however, that the Arabic language has a special significance, having been designed to carry the word of God, so it’s important to use it respectfully.
You should also never call at an Arab’s house without warning him that you’re coming. If the women of the family are present, this won’t be appreciated, particularly in Saudi Arabia. You should also avoid expressing admiration for any of your host’s possessions, as tradition dictates that he must then offer it to you. Although this tradition isn’t followed by everybody, it can nevertheless cause embarrassment. What’s more, the correct response is for the recipient to give an even more valued gift in return, so think twice before admiring an Arab’s Rolls Royce!
Other Pointers
You should also heed the following warnings:
- Don’t offer alcoholic drinks to an Arab, unless you’re certain that he drinks alcohol. This can cause great offence.
- Don’t walk on a prayer mat or in front of any person at prayer and try not to stare at people who are praying.
- Don’t try to enter a mosque without first asking permission. It’s unlikely that you will be allowed in.
- Avoid blasphemy, particularly in the presence of Muslims. Remember that there are many non-Gulf Arabs working in Qatar, who aren’t always as relaxed or tolerant as locals are.
- Avoid putting an Arab in a position where he might suffer a ‘loss of face’ in front of other Arabs. He will appreciate this, if he notices your action.
- Don’t beckon to people with a finger, as this is considered particularly impolite. Arabs might use such a gesture to summon a dog.
- Avoid shouting and displays of aggression or drunkenness at all times, as such behaviour is rarely tolerated.
- During Ramadan, don’t eat, drink or smoke anywhere where you can be seen by Muslims during the hours of daylight and don’t engage in any noisy behaviour or embrace or kiss anyone in public.
